In celebration of North Korea (allegedly) joining the nuclear club, Websurdity is presenting a multi-part feature on the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (DPRK), the last bastion of anti-Imperialist juche songun ideology on Earth. Below is part 1: A review of Kim Jong Il — A Brief History, the official biography of North Korea’s Dear Leader.

To begin our Websurdity Feature on the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (DPRK), we will start with a review of the biography of the man himself: The Dear Leader, Kim Jong Il. The most authoritative and accurate account of Mr. Kim’s life is provided for free by the benevolent government of North Korea on their website. A link is provided at the bottom of this review, for your convenience. The biography, entitled Kim Jong Il – A Brief History, covers the Dear Leader’s life from his birth to 1998, when the book was published. From the beginning, this biography smashes many of the imperialist U.S. flunkeyist myths that were created about the Dear Leader, and tells the truth about the great accomplishments of this brilliant man. For example, many U.S. imperialist pig-dogs bent on emasculating the socialist system claim that Kim Jong Il was born in the Soviet Union on February 16, 1941. A Brief History smashes this lie once and for all. Kim Jong Il was, in fact, born on February 16, 1942, on the slopes of Mount Paektu in North Korea. This biography covers his many other accomplishments, including the battles he personally commanded during the Great Fatherland Liberation War (known to the Yankee bastards as “The Korean War”).

The Dear Leader also has many incredible achievements in every other conceivable subject. In literature, for example, Comrade Kim Jong Il became world-famous for writing several important manifestos, unmatched in both content and in the brevity and creativity of their titles. Some of his best known works include, Let Us Exalt the Brilliance of Comrade Kim Il Sung’s Idea on the Youth Movement and the Achievements Made Under His Leadership, in which the Dear Leader exalts the brilliance of comrade Kim Il Sung’s idea on the youth movement and the achievements made under his leadership, and Let us Prepare the Young People Thoroughly as Reliable Successors to the Revolutionary Cause of Juche, in which the Dear Leader discusses preparing the young people thoroughly as reliable successors to the revolutionary cause of Juche. In science and technology, he provided on-the-spot training at numerous sites throughout his 30 year career in politics, drastically improving industrial production, agricultural techniques, and all other manners of economic activity, leading North Korea to become a world leader in several fields, including gulag development, brain washing, and food rationing. As a tireless advocate for the cause of Juche, Comrade Kim invented Songun Politics, or “military-first” politics, in which he heroically diverts all food and money from his starving population to the military. This led Kim himself to coin the inspirational revolutionary slogan, “Let’s Eat One Meal a Day!” which became a rallying cry for all defenders of the juche ideal, and which won him the respect and love of Koreans everywhere.

For a softer side of the Dear Leader, one only has to look at his work in film and the arts. Comrade Kim has been instrumental in the thriving North Korean film industry, having written several books and pamphlets on the subject of film, and having directed several revolutionary Juche-oriented films himself. Kim’s films have won international acclaim as brilliant works of Socialist Juche Anti-Imperialist Revolution. South Korean actress Choi En-Hui has appeared in several of his films, after voluntarily tying herself up and smuggling herself into the DPRK to make films for the Dear Leader. One point that the biography leaves out, but which is of particular note to his fans, is that Kim has also expressed interest in acting, and has made appearances in several films. If you look closely at the picture to the right, you can see a young Kim Jong Il making an appearance in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, as one of the original Oompa Loompas. Kim’s breakout role came in 2004, when he appeared as himself in the smash hit Team America: World Police. He also produced and recorded the hit revolutionary song “I’m So Ronery,” which exemplifies his single-minded fight for the Juche Ideal.

All in all, Kim Jong Il – A Brief History is a fabulous look at this dynamic socialist revolutionary. Though 160 pages may not seem brief to some, given the unparalleled accomplishments of Comrade Kim, it is truly an achievement that they could fit so many into such a brief book. Though several books have been written purporting to be biographies of the Dear Leader, A Brief History is the only one personally approved by the man himself. This is a must read for all Anti-Imperialist Juche Revolutionaries who wish to advance the causes of Songun Politics and smashing revisionist flunkeyism everywhere. If you have not read it yet, please do so. Only then will you fully appreciate the light that Juche and Songun has brought to the darkness of the world. Though he stands just 5 feet and 3 inches tall (6 feet including his hair and platform shoes), Kim Jong Il is truly a giant among men.

Download Kim Jong-Il — A Brief History at the following link: http://www.korea-dpr.com/articles-ng/biography-kimjongil.htm