Psychics Not So Good at ‘Predicting Future’ Part of Being Psychic

This is a short blurb in an Australian paper that was written in response to several readers who wrote to the paper about an advertisement for a “Psychic Expo.” The advertisement noted that 3 psychics were unable to attend because of bad weather. As the blurb notes, strangely, the psychics didn’t have the foresight to book their own replacements. If you can’t trust a psychic to plan ahead, who can you trust?
Psychic bafflement

Pet Psychic Explores ‘Depths’ of Your Animal: Why Your Cat Chases Small Critters, Says ‘Meow’
This pet psychic in Orlando, Florida uses Tarot Cards and other techniques to communicate with you pets, all for the low-price of $55 for a 30-minute session. The psychic, one Jamie Tolaver Ruiz, conducted a reading on the reporter’s cat Ella, and came to some truly mind-blowing conclusions. For example, the reporter asked why the cat chases small lizards, and the psychic divined that the cat was “…a raven in her past life. Or a hawk or eagle. A large bird of prey.” My own cat attacks my shoelaces. I guess this means that in her previous life, she was either a shoe shiner or a village idiot. As a final warning, the psychic notes that the reporter’s cat, in her next life, will likely be a doctor or a nurse. So make sure you treat your pets well: they could come back as lawyers and sue.
Pet psychic says your animal has depths

Psychic Fails to Foresee Lack of Interest in Psychic Museum

In 2003, Jonathan Cainer, one of Britain’s “top astrologers” created a psychic museum. Unfortunately for Mr. Cainer, the only thing that wasn’t in the charts was visitors: he averaged just 100 per week, and now has to close the museum. When asked whether or not he will re-open the museum in 2008, he refuses to make a prediction, stating, “Although I’m in the prediction business, I don’t believe you can make predictions about things you are close to.” Not that I would want anyone to think I’m a cynic, but… I can’t shake the feeling that some psychics are just making up rules as they go along.
Psychic Museum axed due to lack of visitors

Ivy League School Closes Bush-League Laboratory

After 30 years, Princeton has finally closed its ESP Laboratory, which some scientists have labeled an embarrassment to science. Although I don’t know much about the lab itself, if they conducted actual, scientific tests of alleged ESP, I think that’s fine. I’d imagine that it would get a little redundant after 30 years, but that’s just me. I am a little skeptical of the results, though. According to researchers at the labs, humans could alter what numbers flashed on an electric box, “about two or three times out of 10,000.” I’m no scientist, but 2 or 3 out of 10,000 doesn’t sound particularly convincing. I wouldn’t buy a car that works 2 out of 10,000 tries, anyway.
ESP laboratory in Princeton closes

Jesus: Putting a New Meaning in “Tree Hugger”

Another week, another tree with Jesus. *Yawn*. South Texas town… believers flocking to the site… yadda yadda yadda. Move along, nothing to see here.
Tree forms image of Christ crucified, believers say

Why Do We See Faces Everywhere? Hint: It’s not God, but it does involve a guy with a long white beard

This is a good article in the New York Times discussing the scientific aspects of facial recognition – why people look at their sandwiches, burritos, and trees and see religious figures. It turns out it has very little to do with Jesus or miracles, and has a lot to do with good old Charles Darwin and his Theory of Evolution. In short, our brains adapted to picking out patterns that resemble faces. And obviously it works. Very well.
Faces, Faces Everywhere


Kansas Lays a Gorilla-Sized Bitch-Slap on Creationists
Following in the footsteps of Ohio, Kansas has put the kibosh on education that tries to slip creationism into science classes, and has adopted the mainstream scientific view – evolution – in its classrooms. Although I know that this fight isn’t over, it is heartening to know that there are still plenty of people out there who are willing to accept science over nonsense. Kudos to the Kansas State Board of Education.
Kansas yanks guidelines questioning evolution

Note: Updates will be sparse in the next few weeks, as I will be away and without access to the Internet (or time to do updates). There will probably be a few updates around the end of November, and the beginning of December, and then very little until Christmas. After Christmas, I will be able to update regularly again.

Bending the Spoons of Dictators Everywhere
Uri Geller is not just a master at mutilating silverware. He also, apparently, has contacts at high levels of the U.S. government. According to Geller, the Soldiers who found Saddam Hussein two years ago were acting on a tip from a psychic “viewer” employed by the U.S. government. His proof? He doesn’t really have any (what a shock!). He only says that he got his information from a “high-level source involved in US paranormal programs.” It’s good to see Mr. Geller and people with similar abilities are donating their skills to the war. If there is one thing that keeps me up nights, it’s the idea that terrorists and/or murderous dictators are being allowed to use unbent eating utensils.
Psychic ‘tip’ found deposed tyrant

Screw Religion, Philosophy, and Science. Your Ticket to Enlightenment: the Number 11
Twice a day, it is 11:11. Unless you are in the military, in which case it only happens once a day. If you are, that is a shame, because you are missing out on a possible spiritual awakening brought about by the magical properties of the number 11. According to a psychic interviewed in this article, “11-11 means a wake up call. Whenever you see 11-11 on a clock, or in a store receipt, or anything, it means you’re being called to see what your purpose is on this earth. “ So true. Last night, on November 11th, at 11:11 pm, I had a sudden craving for curry rice. And it just so happens that earlier today, I ordered some curry rice from a nearby Indian restaurant. I ate it, and it was quite good, even reheated in the microwave. The point? I haven’t figured it out yet, but I have no doubt that the universe was communicating to me in some way. After all, if 11:11 is a magical time, then 11:11 on 11/11 must be at least twice as magical. Or maybe it is 1111 to the 1111th power magical. I’m not sure how the math works, exactly. Either way, the universe communicated to me something very, very powerful about my purpose on this planet. And it has something to do with chicken curry. I am going to set all the clocks in my house to read 11:11 every day, all the time. That way, I will be in a constant state of enlightenment, and may some day receive an answer to the mystery of the chicken curry.
What’s The True Meaning Behind ‘Spirit Numbers?’

Breaking News: Psychic Not Even Close to Naming Killer
The father of a murdered girl sought the assistance of famed psychic Sylvia Browne to track down the man who killed his daughter. Sylvia’s prognostication: the murderer was a white male, in his 30’s, and his name was Bill or Billy. Currently on trial for the murder: Michael Keith Moore, a 31 year-old Texan. Browne made this prediction on Montel in February of 2003, when Moore was 27 (born 10/5/75), so she was wrong about him being in his 30’s. Out of three names, there wasn’t anything close to Bill or Billy. There wasn’t even a William. And California? Nope. In other words, the results of Ms. Browne’s brilliant psychic powers: she was correct about the killer being a white male. James van Praagh also took a shot at this case, as did several other psychics. How was the killer caught? He contacted police and confessed. Incidentally, the father of the victim wrote in his blog that regardless of whether Browne was right or wrong, he was glad to get his daughter’s case on the Montel show, which is watched by 3 million people. I can’t knock that reasoning at all. I don’t think anyone would do it differently. It is a shame, though, that it took an appearance by a psychic to get that kind of audience for a missing girl.
Psychics Have Tried To See Answers In Rachel Cooke Case

Government Raises Extraterrestrial Threat Level to ‘Pretty Fucking Unlikely’
Nick Pope, an official in the British Ministry of Defense who was formerly in charge of Britain’s “X-Files,” has warned the public about the possibility of an alien invasion. Although he says there is no evidence of hostile intent from extraterrestrials, he goes on to warn that it “cannot be ruled out in the future,” and that “…you cannot rule out that what is happening is some kind of covert reconnaissance.” He is concerned that we are ignoring the possibility, and leaving ourselves “wide open” to invasion. Note to Mr. Pope: if extraterrestrials have the technology to travel thousands of light years and probe our planet virtually undetected for decades, the chances of us stopping them from invading are probably pretty slim. I am sure they have already seen both Independence Day and War of the Worlds, and have updated the virus protection on their computers, put a tracking device on Jeff Goldblum, and installed good air filtration systems to guard against Earth’s deadly microbes. If you want to protect yourself, might I suggest the Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie. It’ll probably be about as effective as anything else we have.
EARTH: WE’RE WIDE OPEN TO ALIEN ATTACK: UFO expert wants probes into sightings

Jesus in an Uncomfortable Place
He has appeared on grilled cheese sandwiches, doors, burnt pieces of wood, frozen burritos, and now on the rear end of a dog. The dog, named Angus MacDougall, clearly has the image of the Lord and Savior imprinted on his buttocks. A miracle if their ever was one, this only goes to show that you never know where he may appear. He may even be on your derriere. When was the last time you looked at your ass in the mirror? If you ever needed an excuse, this is it. (Before anyone asks, yes I know this claim is a joke).
Jesus image appears on dog

Evolution Slaps the Hell Out of Creationism
More good news from Ohio: in the recent elections for the Ohio Board of Education, pro-evolution candidates spanked the anti-evolution candidates, ensuring that last month’s pro-evolution vote will hold for several more years. Kudos to the people of Ohio for picking science over nonsense.
Voters pick proponents of evolution for board

Websurdity Link: Dinosaurs: Science Or Science Fiction?

Many children grow up learning about dinosaurs in kindergarten and throughout grade school. According to accepted wisdom, dinosaurs were giant reptiles that lived hundreds of millions of years ago and were wiped out in some currently-unknown cataclysmic event. Evidence for the existence of these behemoths has consisted of thousands of skeletons, footprints, eggs, and other fossils that have been found over the past 150 years. To the untrained eye, that evidence seems pretty solid. But the fact is, aside from those scant thousands of pieces of evidence, there is very little scientific basis for belief in dinosaurs. Because of the power of the vibrant and greedy dinosaur industry and its Satanic, pro-evolution supporters, however, the theory of dinosaurs has never been taken to task for its many obvious flaws and contradictions. That is, until now.

In a hard-hitting analysis of the motives behind the dinosaur conspiracy, David Wozney has asked several painful questions about the existence of dinosaurs, and has shown that they simply could not have existed.

Wozney first takes on the alleged timeline of dinosaur discovery, pointing out the suspicious incongruity of a sequence that begins with a professor describing dinosaurs in a speech in 1842, even though the first dinosaurs weren’t discovered in North America until 1854! Isn’t it odd that the “discovery” of bones matched perfectly with a description given before the bones were even discovered? Skeptics might point out that the first dinosaur bones were discovered in England in 1677, or that a French anatomist figured out in 1818 that the large bones belonged to giant lizards, or that the first dinosaur genus was created in 1826. A skeptic may try to argue that those “facts” provide a satisfactory explanation for Wozney’s suspicion. But do those facts really explain it all away? We conducted our own objective analysis on this question, and found out that, yes, they do.

Thankfully, Wozney has more damning evidence about the dinosaur hoax. Taking aim at the dinosaur industry and the people who are allegedly discovering all of these so-called “dinosaur bones,” Wozney points out that, “Discoveries and excavations seem not to be made by disinterested people… but rather by people with vested interests, such as paleontologists, scientists, university professors, museum organization personnel, who were intentionally looking for dinosaur bones or who have studied dinosaurs previously.” His point is hard to dismiss. After all, have you ever tripped over a dinosaur bone while walking on the sidewalk? Come across a pterodactyl egg while at the beach? Probably not. Indeed, one might say that most of these alleged dinosaur bones are discovered by the very people who are searching for them! This certainly seems like an unlikely coincidence. Moreover, even when people who aren’t experts discover “dinosaur bones”, they usually “…need to be told by dinosaur experts that they are dinosaur bones.” How odd! Clearly, there is something else going on here. But what?

The answer is simple: the almighty dollar, and Satan. As Wozney says, “’Dinosaur’ bones sell for a lot of money at auctions. It is a profitable business. There is pressure on academics to publish papers. There is pressure on museums to produce displays. There is pressure on movie producers and the media to make money.” The subtle anti-religious evolution advocates, likely backed by Satan, are also playing a part: ”…motivations for the possible invention of the dinosaur include trying to prove evolution, trying to disprove or cast doubt on the Bible and the existence of God, trying to disprove the young-earth theory, and trying to disprove creationism. Of course, the devil’s ultimate goal is to cast doubt on the deity of Jesus Christ and prevent people’s eternal salvation.”

So there you have it. If we all look critically at these so-called giant lizards – and we should – dinosaurs will soon be relegated to the same level as the Loch Ness Monster, or the Apollo Moon Landings (a hoax Wozney also uncovers). As Wozney succinctly puts it, “I am unaware of any evidence or reason for absolutely believing dinosaurs ever existed. The possibility exists they may be a fabrication of nineteenth and twentieth century people possibly pursuing an evolutionary and anti-Bible and anti-Christian agenda.” As responsible adults, it is our duty to ensure our children are presented with the most factual, scientific evidence available. Should we really tell our children to believe in an idea that has so little evidence? That sure would be silly. Only the devil himself would support that.

According to conventional wisdom, the Earth is a small, rocky planet rotating and revolving around a fairly average star, floating in a galaxy made up of billions of stars, which itself is floating around in a vast universe made of billions of other galaxies. According to The Fair Education Foundation, however, this commonly accepted theory about the Earth is wrong. Dead wrong. Citing over ninety links on the Internet, mostly written by himself, Marshall Hall, the proprietor of the Fair Education Foundation web site, proves conclusively that the Earth is not rotating, revolving, jiggling, wiggling, or doing the Electric Slide. In fact, the Earth, as is described in the Bible, is not moving at all. The Stars, sun, moon, and all other celestial bodies rotate around the Earth, which is stationary, and sits in the center of everything. Shattering hundreds of years of science since the Copernican Revolution, Hall’s theories prove conclusively that the Earth is indeed the sole center of the universe, and that modern science is a religious conspiracy designed to undermine the word of God. There are no extra-solar planets, the universe is nowhere near 15 billion years old, and most of modern cosmology was inspired by… oh I don’t know… SATAN? As Hall himself says, “The False Science Puppet of the Talmudist/Kabbalist elite has jerked you and me and the rest of the world around long enough with these devilish lies.” Thankfully, we have The Fair Education Foundation to show us the way.

I am going to interrupt this article for a little commentary:

I’m not saying this guy is a nut, but I have a feeling that if he goes for a walk in the woods, he probably has to bring a whole assload of squirrel repellent.