Yes, Websurdity is back. I apologize for the silence in the past 30 days, but I was on a mission so secret that the very mention of it could have had galaxy-wide consequences. Rest assured, however, that my ultra-super-secret-squirrel mission hunting reptilian extreterrestrials was a success. We confiscated over 200 caches of death rays, and captured and destroyed over 25,000 anal probes. Hopefully, you and your anus will sleep better tonight knowing another group of intergalactic terrorists has been destroyed.

Stay tuned for more hard-hitting content as we return to our normal mission!

I’ll be away until April 1st, so I won’t have any new posts until then. I will be gone for two weeks to meet with my fellow Illuminati Members in order to plan further takeovers of the world. If you have any requests for a specific assignment in the New World Order, please e-mail me at websurdity@websurdity.com and I will see what I can do.

Can I get a “Woo Woo” For the UK?

According to a recent survey, 10% of British people believe in things like psychics, teleportation, time travel, and divining rods. I guess I won’t begrudge the UK 10%. The rate is probably higher in the U.S. In any event, the number is still quite a bit lower than a survey I posted a couple of weeks ago, which claimed that 67% of British believe in the power of psychics. But then, that survey was trying to sell a TV show. Still, I’m sure somebody will take this survey as proof that Harry Potter is turning people into witches.
Wizards and diviners abound in Britain, says psychic survey

Famous psychic gives police vague, useless information

Allison Dubois, the “psychic” upon whom the tv show Medium is based, appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show last week to lend her… expertise… to the search for the body of Jackie Hartman, a missing 19 year-old. She also contacted the Phoenix police with her information. Unfortunately, unlike the Sylvia Browne-Shawn Hornbeck fiasco, there probably won’t be a happy ending here. A man has already been indicted in Ms. Hartman’s murder, and the evidence (including her bloody shirt and a torn bra) is pretty strong that she has died. The search, right now, is to locate the body.

That didn’t stop Ms. Dubois from “predicting” that the body would be found, and there would be a funeral. Brilliant. Her other psychic vision: Ms. Hartman was choked, and she rolled down an embankment. On the bright side, since her prediction is so vague and pointless, it makes it more difficult for police to waste their time pretending it is worth looking into.

The father of the missing girl didn’t give her reading much credence, stating “I have no problem if it gives people motivation to help out, but I would rather focus on facts.”

For those interested, the family set up a website located at: http://findingjackiehartman.blogspot.com with updates, and also has an account set up if people want to donate money to help the family during the search for their daughter’s body.
Psychic drawn to missing teen case

Psychic cleans haunted spa; no word if he also cooks and does laundry
A spa owner in England noticed a “strange atmosphere” and “unexplained negativity” in her 400 year-old manor, and so called in a famous psychic to “cleanse” the house of its bad energy. Predictably, the psychic detected “a presence,” which he promptly gave an ethereal ass kicking. Since then, the staff of the spa has been relaxed, and business is booming.

I hope this guy also does houses. Mine is a psychic mess.
TV psychic exorcises the ’spirit of the spa’

The Virgin Mary, in fungi form!

A man in Twin Falls, Idaho left a message with a local newspaper stating that he saw the Virgin Mary in a rock by a waterfall. The image was made by water runoff, and some moss. None of the people interviewed for the article could see the Virgin Mary. I can a little bit, if I really use my imagination. But I also see something that could be a fish, or a missile, or a sword. In fact, it really looks very little like a person.
Religious miracle or natural phenomenon?

More about faces

This is another good article about why people see faces everywhere – similar to the New York Times article I posted last week. Interesting read.
Why do we see Mother Teresa in a cinnamon bun?

We have recently upgraded the site from Wordpress 1.5 to Wordpress 2.07. The upgrade was simple enough, but because of some differences in the versions, there may be some formatting issues in older posts. If you run into a post that doesn’t look right, feel free to e-mail/leave a comment.

I have also added Google Ads to the site, in my ongoing quest to raise a few bucks to pay our service provider next year (the site will be renewed either way, it’s just a matter of how much I pay out of pocket). Because of the way AdSense places ads, several of the advertisements on our site right now are not appropriate for our site. I am trying to get the ads re-focused to match the content of the site and to advertise products some of our readers may actually be interested in. The process may take up to a couple of weeks, as I learn how to better focus Google’s tools on relevant content. Until then, I apologize for any ads that are contrary to Websurdity’s purpose.

An organization, or “movement,” as they preferred to be called, has proposed a novel method of ending the numerous problems that have plagued humans and other species since the beginning of time: giving up. The Volunteer Human Extinction Movement (VHEM) suggests that, rather than attempting to come up with solutions to our problems via technological research or cultural and societal changes, we should simply throw in the towel, and work towards a simpler and achievable solution to all of our problems: human extinction. Scoffing at the idea that any of our problems can actually be solved, the VHEM notes on their website that, “Almost all of today’s problems are caused by yesterday’s tecnological solutions to problems of the day. Civilization’s stairway of Babel… has a down side each step of the way.”

VHEM hopes to achieve this noble goal of complete human extinction by convincing people that having babies is wrong, evil, and the cause of the vast majority of the Earth’s problems. But for those who would attempt to label the movement as fascist baby-haters, VHEM directly disavows that notion. “VHEMT Volunteers love babies as much as anyone else,” responds their website. “’Having babies’ is not so much the problem — having adults is what’s causing the problems.” The website goes on to add, “People who envision having a baby often forget that they are creating an entirely new human being who will leave in a few years as an adult.”

If you are an adult and are reading this, perhaps you find this attitude somewhat offensive, absurd, or even ridiculous. But just think about this: from the time you woke up this morning, how many animals have you killed? How many insects have you callously stepped on? How many plants and trees have you caused to whither and die? How many holes have you poked in the O-Zone layer? If you answer zero, or “I just woke up,” chances are you are lying to yourself. I quote J. Robert Oppenheimer, the father of the atomic bomb: I am become death, destroyer of worlds. We are all become death. Every hour of every day. Face it: you are a murderer. You and everyone like you*. F*** you!

Website Link: http://www.vhemt.org

* Does not apply to people under 18

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*May not be effective against tiny invisible men